Undomestic Goddess

This is the first Saturday I find myself sitting at home trying to think of something to write on this blog. I'm starting to feel some pressure now. I am thrilled to get so many emails, posts and Facebook messages that some of you are enjoying my little stories. It has been wonderful to feel the dust slowly clearing from my mind and I'm actually beginning to "think" again. Who knew this could be so cathartic?

 

But somehow, someway, my brain must know it is the weekend. I'm having a hard time staying motivated and focused despite a pretty good start to my day. First, before my husband left for work this morning, he wrote me a one page letter on the computer detailing all of the reasons why he loves me. And although it was a therapist-mandated request that he do so, I have to say the words were extremely touching considering we've been together since I sported big bangs, shoulder pads, and a perfectly permed mullet.

 

My two oldest kids are with their adoring grandparents, my youngest is napping, and I've watched Dr. Drew's Rehab, Marley & Me, and a re-run of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. (As if watching it the first time wasn't bad enough!). I had a great visit, albeit a quick one, with one of my favorite friends as I munched on sushi at 10:30 a.m. Mmmm...Left-over sushi. And I am mildly concerned about this sharp piercing pain that keeps radiating throughout my uterus like I am about to vaginally birth a metal instrument at any second. (No, I do not believe it is in any way related to the leftover sushi!).

 

Good day aside, I feel somewhat guilty for writing on this blog when I should be cleaning the house, tackling the heaping stack of two-day old dishes crusting over in the kitchen sink, or washing at least 10 of the 20 loads of dirty laundry sitting on the floor. Gee. I'm not sure why I am avoiding those tantalizing tasks! It made me think about all the reasons why I am not the successful domestic goddess I had always hoped to be. On the other hand, if I want to look on the brighter side of things, let's just say I have a lot of room for improvement.

 

• Are there any other "undomestic goddesses" out there?
• Have you ever washed and/or dried the same load of clothes more than once? Twice? Three times? Okay, maybe even for an entire week!?
• Have you gone from perfecting the perfect batch of stove top Kraft macaroni and cheese to the even better 3 minute microwavable single-serving packages?
• When discovering the last milk carton is empty, have you ever ordered 4 Venti milks from the Starbucks drive-thru just to avoid going in to the grocery store with your children?
• Has your husband ever come home two hours after the cleaning lady and asked, "When does the cleaning lady come?"
• Have you ever determined that it's time for your kids to take a bath because their hands smelled like butt?
• Have you ever accidentally put a dirty diaper or a nice red tube of lipstick through the washing machine cycle?
• Have you ever tried to pawn off New York Teriaki's beef teriaki as "homemade" in your kids lunch?

Well, I applaud all of you out there who do such an amazing job at making it all look so easy. And for the others out there, like me, I would love to hear your undomestic secrets. I'm sure there are some good ones out there! But for now, I guess I better get back to the fist-pumping Jersey Shore marathon or we're going to have a "situation" here! Did I just say that? I meant I need to get back to the laundry :)