Oops! I Did It Again!

Finding time to write in this household comes at a premium. I can't even remember the last time I had time to poop in peace, let alone write. And writing is hard when you are distracted - or at least that is my story and I'm sticking to it. I guess my real motive here is to save face a little bit. I need you to accept the fact that there will be mistakes. There will be typos. Proper punctuation might be lacking. Let's be honest, it will happen from time to time - I am sure of it.

(Insert Flashback music...)

Once upon a time, in a parallel universe far, far away, I had a career that consisted almost entirely of writing. I had to ghost write articles on subjects that I knew very little about. And "very little" is being quite generous.

"The Globalization of Services"
"Life After Sarbanes-Oxley"
"Investing in Distressed Companies"

Oh, yes! Riveting stuff to say the least! I wrote acceptance speeches, conference presentations, website content, and just a ton of fluff for printed marketing materials and newsletters.

So, when you are writing on behalf of your company, the CEO, or a senior partner, spelling and punctuation are pretty important elements...if you want to keep your job that is. I learned this very early on in my career as a measly marketing assistant at Foster Pepper & Shefelman in Seattle.

Every time a new associate joined the firm, it was my job to write a formal announcement, have it printed on the finest, watermarked parchment paper, and sent to a list of nearly 500 colleagues, businesses, and clients. As an entry-level marketing moron, there are very few tasks that you are trusted with. So, for me, this was HUGE. Luckily, the new associate I was working with on my very first project was extremely nice and actually treated me like a human. Never once did she say, "Um, tell me again who YOU are?" So, after interviewing her to find out where she went to school, her area of law, bla, bla, bla... I meticulously crafted her announcement and sent it to the printer. This was a glorious moment for sure. Until -

Later that week, about 475 announcements were sent to the masses. I even proudly delivered a handful of extras to this new associate so she could send them to friends and family. And then, one of the recipients did the unthinkable. They actually read the announcement and found a little typo that changed the tone of the piece. It read:

Foster Pepper & Shefelman

proudly announces

Jane Doe, a graduate of Harvard University,

has joined the firm.

Ms. Doe will specialize in PUBIC Policy.
(should have been pubLic Policy.)

Oh dear God. Kill me now. Is this when I'm supposed to pack my belongings into a cardboard box and get escorted out the door by security? Did I just tell everyone this new associate was a pubic specialist? Does Harvard even offer that sort of degree? I'm guessing not. Nope. Turns out they don't.

Lucky for me, the associate actually had a sense of humor and thought it was pretty funny. My boss considered it a "tough" lesson learned. I would have to agree that my extreme embarrassment surely was punishment enough and I NEVER made that mistake again. I went unscathed for years after that doozy but had another close encounter when I insisted to my CEO that he take a call from a client in Shangri-la.

CEO: "That is impossible."
Me: "No it's not. They said they were from Shangri-la."
CEO: "You are wrong."
Me: "No, I'm not."
CEO: "I assure you that you are wrong."
Me: "How can you be so sure? I was the one that heard the message."
CEO: "Shangri'la is a fictitious place that does not exist. Is there any chance they said "Sri Lanka?"
Me: "Uh, yes. That's what I meant. Duh!"

Hey, what can I say? I grew up in a very small town and had yet to be exposed to...geography or a world map. That aside, I learned to double check my facts. Never trust spell check. And always, always have somebody else proofread your work. I lived by these standards and went on to have a fairly successful writing career until recently when I started this blog. I will admit, I am a little rusty!

A couple of weeks into it, my adorable, loving, hot, hunky husband decided to read it for the first time. He had some feedback for me - but nothing I wanted to hear. Instead of commenting on anything of substance, he simply said, "If this is something you're going to keep doing, then please do me a favor. Spell uncensored correctly."

Good point, albeit a little too late. I guess I did it again!

If he was home right now, I would ask him to proof read this entry. But he is not. So, pretty please with sugar on top, if you see a typo, a fictitious location, poor punctuation - or even a misspelled blog title, keep it to yourself. And I mean that in a "nice" way. Although "writing while multi-tasking" is perfectly legal, it is not advised - as illustrated by the misspelled blog title! But, I am sure you knew what I was going for, right?